I told my mom she should expect us around the 10th. So that means leave here the 9th, probably... next thursday.
I'm bringing my man home, and I can't even fucking wait to get back to where the weather is comfortable for habitation.
I miss my cece, I'm going to hang out with her and remind her that life is indeed truly, truly worth living and that there really truly are such things as real men out there that do treat women with unconditional love & respect. She'll find hers because she is so so worth it. [I'll probably call her right after I type this all ouut!]
And when we get to Silver city, my grandma told my mom that we can't sleep together. HAHAHAHA.
That's hilarious. My dad said he laughed when my grandma told my mom that, too. Fucking crazy hypocrites.
Jonathan said that he understands where she's coming from, but I don't. This is the same woman who hid hippies who'd burnt their draft cards in the 60s, grew weed in the 70s, married a genius musician in the 50s, and is basically a slut for any man who will pay her and tell her she is beautiful from the 90s+.
I mean come the FUCK on grandma. LOLOLOL.
whatever she'll get over it I know  it when Jonathan sits down and plays that beautiful piano with that beautiful tallented brain of his. She can just suck on it and give us a couple hundred, early wedding present, and then she can feel better knowing we will be married. :]
But i'm not worried about money at all anymore. Jonathan had 605$ just now b4 he left. told me he's putting it all in the bank! I have 359 left in my account, and 90$ in his safe. We're getting payed 700$ fror SURE by sweet Jimmy, but possibly more if they make 50000 on firework sales. They made it to 45000 last year so heres hoping!!
Everything's lovely right now, and I am a petty little girl. I get mad at him over the fucking stupidest things, but either I realize 'wtf idiot, look at this wonderfuul human being who loves you exactly the way you are and so many people out there neveer even find this... get over it' or he makes it allllll better. He's so intellectually stimulating as well as physically stimulating and HILARIOUS. I love everything about him and i cant stop thinking that. Every inch of him even his feet and his little teeny acne craters. I love them they make him jonathan lane. and i love his hands they are so perfect, and gentle and sweet. and the way he kisses me is insane it makes me feel perfect, groggy, and light headed all together. and his cute little butt! which he refuses to believe, which is crazy. but i do love everything. He for some fuucking reason loves everything about me too. I can be exactly myself. I love it. I question it, but he questions me accepting everything about him, too.
Just one thing - he acts so distand and whipers a lot to himself when he is high. That bothers me because he allllways whispers 'itll be ok'. I'm figuring out why. and it makes me cry sometimes just bbecause i know he needs to reassure himself of that excessive amounts of times to believe it. I love him, and some day he'll realize itll be ok. Just so much change is happening right now for him that he thinks about it nonstop. I dfon't blame him. But I know he's happy about it under all of the doubt.
I put a bunch of boxes in my trunk, after he instructed me to do so, the other day from the fireworks stand. He wants to put dvds and books in them. He loooves movies and books. :D
He loves to be informed and he needs a wawa petal for his bday. Ima get it for him! He told me he doesnt need one for his bday but I said nope! we'll seeee. So he laughed and said i mean itd be nice... but nooot necessary. Im going to. :] I love the way it sounds, too.
And i cried today, how beautiful jonathan's voice is when he sings., he played lucky by radiohead for me this morning. [as well as that johnny cash song which makes me LOOOOLLLL cuz he sings it so rpetty until that 'i hang my head and cry' part he actually sings it EXACTLY as deep as johnny cash does HAHAHA] It was so beautiful i had to cry. and then i hugged him and looked him in the eyes and said "your voice is beautiful!!!" he just said awwwhhh thank you baby but he knows its true. he so has to. god he is so tallented. im gunna prove it to him sooooooooon!!

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