Now, Jonathan is my best friend. My best, bestest friend, as I'm sure you all know and do not care to know.
But I do have best friends that I find to be the closest ones I have other than him.
Of those I have Tasha (for she has no friends by choice, but empties her thoughts on me from time to time... which I appreciate to no END, because she is SO damn cool & nice & fucking gorgeous beyond all reason & wonderful), Gabbie (for she has not stopped talking to me since we met for the first time Sophmore year and she was almost too scared to talk to me, which is unbelievable actually knowing Gabbie!!), and little miss Kayde (who continues to be my friend, even though so much has gone in and out of our friendship).
I remember the day I was explaining to her my feelings for Jonathan. & how he treated me all the time in Texas. And how much I am in love. & how I never, ever expected any of this, but because she told me to be optimistic and not worry about the whole Taylor gayness, and stay optimistic, and hang in there, and look forward, I met my one true love of my life...
Her eyes got all watery and sparkley, and mine did too, because I felt what she felt for me. It was true friendship. True best friendship.
To be honest, it made me want to shout out to the whole world how real, deep, and true this girl's feelings are.
This is why I would very much like to burn everyone at the stake who has ever, ever hurt her. I know I am included in this group of people.
I know all of those people who enjoy hurting Kayde for no reason whatsoever, over and over again. I hope everyone understands that she is stronger than everyone thinks she is. She does, in fact, learn from everything those horrible types of people put her through. & I know she will prove them all completely, overtly wrong some day soon. Especially her crazy mom. Parents seem to assume they are always right. I know for a fact that they are trying to convince themselves of that almost 80% of the time.
My little brother will never be as good as he can be, for he has been babied way, way too much as a little boy. He is growing into a sad excuse of a teenager, but I'm praying and hoping he can turn it around before he becomes a man. I think he will find a good girl, as I am, who will smack him into line.
Kayde will be a wonderful mother, and wife. She will someday [I think I have definite insight into this part!!!] be with a romantic, sweet man who will treat her the way every man treats their woman, and everything will work out beautifully. I believe that every trial has taught her something important, and that is why she has gone through so many... and this is why she will never be like her Mother as her Mother desperately wants. I know that her mom is trying to control her because of how strong-willed she is. I also know that she is realizing that she never has controled her as she wished to. This is why she is freaking out right now. I know this is wrong, and I know that Kayde's mom knows it is wrong... but she is so set in her ways that she cannot help but continue. But I'm unbelievably excited that Kayde has these plans for her future. I know that she will reach her goals since she has come up with them during such an important and intrical part of her life. This makes me proud, as I am still her friend to this day. Even through all the STUPID, stupid bullshit drama we went through many times before. I have matured and realized that none of that was important. She has, as well, and I admire that in her. We are kind-of growing up together, and I see her close to a sister as I can possibly see anyone. It is a strange phenomenon. I feel as though I must protect her, and keep her away from horrible things. I enjoy being responsible for someone (responsible in my own mind...) who I know will change the world in a fantastic way.



As for Jonathan...
His new friend Snake (Evgeny) told Jonathan that he was texting his GF saying that he feels like a third wheel being around Jonathan & his fiance. I asked Jonathan "did you tell him I'm not your fiance?" He said "Nooo! He's not far off the mark, anyway..." & then he hugged me all tenderly. :]
I told him he's sooo sweet. & he said "I just don't have money to buy you a ring!"
& I proceeded to show him how my fake one's gold is rubbing off on the inside!

It made my day, even though yesterday he made me very sad, and I made him even more sad... He is learning how he can treat me, and it is very much with respect and love... without telling me about his job & taking his job out on me. We are even closer. I feel correct. And I was thinking about how I drove to Texas with him without any slight hint of "this is a scary step, maybe i shouldn't be going there with him..."
Completely right, and wonderful, and lovely.
We are going to see a movie tonight at the dollar theatre, as he bought a terrific new phone earlier this week!!! Just like I told him they would allow him to upgrade to. He wants to buy me a blackberry. It is fucking adorable, and plausable!
I start my job Monday, and I am nervous as HELL. o.o;;;;;;;;;;;;